Geyser

You poop a lot. Obviously, right? I mean, they always say all babies do is sleep and eat and poop. I knew this was true, I just didn't realize how true it is. I spend all day changing your diapers. Its sort of a game. You like this game. You have a wet diaper, so I change you. A clean diaper signals that its poop time. I change you again, and then you poop in that one, and then I wait. I've learned my lesson, you're going to sit in poop for a few minutes until I'm sure you're done. 15 minutes go by and I think, OK, we're clear now. Diaper is changed and guess what? You poop again.

I don't trust your butt. Sometimes I'll be in the act of changing you and you switch it up to keep me on my toes. I'll lift up your bottom end to give it the ol' wiperoo and that's when you let loose. Its like a shimmering yellow geyser straight out the poop shoot; poo all over everything. Its shocking. Why, oh why did I think I could change you without getting out of bed?