Alone Together

Dear Thora,

I know you must look at your Dad and I as being your Dad and your Mom, but up until recently, we were just Ira and Andrea. Having you around is the best thing we could imagine, but it has changed things in many ways, and we are having a tough time figuring out how all those changes affect our lives, especially our relationship with each other.

You take up a lot of time and energy. I don't know if its more then I thought, but it is a lot. Everything I used to be able to do whenever I wanted, now has to be squeezed into the few 1 hour time slots here and there when you are sleeping. It causes me to feel a bit frantic whenever I'm doing anything, because I always feel like I should try to get it done as quickly as possible, so I can try to get a nap in too while you are sleeping.

Thats just me, just for the things I want to do for myself. Meanwhile, when he finds the time, Ira is doing things for himself. So, to find time where both of us are available in these time slots to do something together hasn't happened much, if at all. We do things with all three of us, which is amazing! But, as much as we love being a family, we love having time to just be alone.

Before you were born, I read all kinds of books telling me what I could probably expect and the topic came up of how the relationship changes between the Mom and Dad after the baby arrives. I thought we love each other so much, our love will carry us through. I realize now how naive that was.

So what's the answer? This is one of the many times you find, where Mom doesn't know. We're just going to do the best we can. And maybe call some friends to come and hang out with you, so we can go ride our motorcycles. That seems like a good answer. I'll let you know how it goes.